Sometimes I'm foolish

Do you ever get the feeling where you want to win? Where you need to win?
I want to win, but I'm up against nothing. I don't even put myself against anything. I just want to win lol. So begins the vicious cycle of thinking stupid thoughts in an attempt to win over myself. And then realising what I'm doing ==.
I saw something weird today. It's not weird. But it was weird for me. It put shit into perspective. Like when you look at a photo for too long and then everything starts looking ugly. (Am I the only one who gets that feeling?) But back to that weird thing, yeah, I saw something weird that wasn't really weird- but weird for me, and I kind of realised that I did not care and yet I do care. But I'm just feeling weirded out, and that need to win. Weirded is not a word..thank you Microsoft word. I always both love and hate everything. I want to push away and yet I want to grasp on tight. I want to shut up and yet I want to keep on talking. I feign not to care, and yet I notice.

I'm that girl who's crying inside! Who's heart is so broken from all those sleepless nights crying because no one can see her inner beauty! I'm joking. I just felt like I started sounding like those soppy meme's written by girls who are 'strong and holding back the tears'. LMAO please shoot me if I ever start sounding like that.

But yeah, then you make my day. Not you, but you. Yeah, that one. You ALLL make my day hahaha.

BTW, I HANDED IN MY LAST ASSIGNMENT OF 2012. AND IS IT JUST ME OR WAS THIS THE ONLY ASSIGNMENT I HAD THIS SEMESTER? My memory fails me constantly. If I'm ever before the court, don't show them I said that. :P Actually, I could probably work that in my favor.

I cannot wait till holidays! Going to explore the ends of the Earth and tie it all into a tight little bundle in my heart <3 .="." 4="4" :=":" a="a" an="an" and="and" anywhere="anywhere" attic="attic" away="away" because="because" body.="body." bone="bone" desire="desire" do="do" don="don" entail.="entail." even="even" explorer="explorer" feel="feel" from="from" go.="go." go="go" have="have" holiday="holiday" home.="home." i="i" idea="idea" in="in" is="is" it="it" joke.="joke." last="last" like..in="like..in" like="like" lock="lock" make="make" massive="massive" maybe="maybe" me="me" melbourne="melbourne" my="my" nah="nah" nbsp="nbsp" never="never" no="no" not="not" p="p" single="single" sucks="sucks" t="t" that="that" the="the" to="to" too="too" travelling="travelling" up="up" was="was" what="what" will="will" would="would" year="year">
Haha look at me, blogging about me. 

Edit: Yeah look at what my blog did to my paragraph. Take from it what you will. Tis alienspeak.