Hey blog. Sick of me yet? Well feel for me, I live with myself everyday.
I dyed my hair today, like finally. It was my first time so excuse me for wanting to make public the deflowering of my virgin hair. It was actually a disaster haha. My cousin dyed hair a gazillion times before so she did it for me. As I was working the lab (kitchen) pouring and mixing the dye and peroxide she told me it was nowhere near enough. So I poured more bleach to amp up the volume. Turns out it doesn't work that way. So halfway through we decided to open up a commercial carton (the ones you get in supermarkets and pharmacies lmao) and just made a mess on my head. So while the top of my head is brown, the rest is wtf-you-call-this-brown? The difference between 6% and 9% peroxide. Im currently just lying here surrounded by stinky hair that's kept Bonnie away from me all day.
My hair surprisingly does not feel like hay, it also hasn't fallen off and I'm basically alive. My clothes not so much tho. Who knew dye turned black on cloth? Makes damage more evident I guess. Rubbing into your face that you've got no aim.
I also finally finished reading this book I bought the other day. I don't remember what it's called but it was autographed. The book was goddamn witty but my ass had more charm. So don't read it.
I was also whining to my friend who has finished his internship for pharmacy basically asking how you can survive this every single day. The answer I got made enough sense. That yes you can want to be in a job that is perfectly aligned with your passions and dreams, but realistically speaking, if that happened with all of us, te world would be a different place. Passion isn't enough, you need skill. It is after all, a paid job. Settle with what you're capable of. Sounds a bit deflating, but I was never a big dreamer anyway. It's exhausting!
Holidays are also ending. Cram the books to be read and friends to be had!!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
Hello my darling. Blogging from my phone so brace yourself! For proper punctuation and spelling!
It's been over two hours and my brain has analysed every grain in the sea. It's now attempting to turn every rock and inspect every sea creature in my cerebral fluid. Kind of takes me back to year 12 when I took night time cold/flu tablets to fall asleep. When I'm not chatting and dramaing at 4 that is. Winkk ahh Bad memories thank god that's over :*)
But it's not even 1 so I'm not fussed. You just know though, when tonight's gonna be a tough night to fall asleep and when it'll be easy. So it's easier to just admit defeat and use the time productively rather than force sleep upon yourself. Yeh?
You know what I sometimes wonder. In this giant giant giant giant...giant giant universe, there has got to be more planets that are inhabited true? What I'm really curious about is how far they've advanced compared to us. What if they've already invented flying cars and we're slow as fuck on the whole evolution thing? What if the other extraterrestrials are really good neighbours and because theyve invented effective space travel, visit each other while we are the outliers, the 'losers'? :( what if while we're debating about Pluto, they're having amazing gravity defying space tea parties? While we're watching Harlem Shake videos.
And what if I'm lying here thinking about this and somewhere, someone is thinking the exact same thing? :D that would be pretty coolio.
I've been talking to a friend about my woes about pharmacy, and as convinced as he is about me just having a bad week, I still hold my view.
I just don't understand where I can channel passion into my career-to-be. Removing workmates and environments aside, pharmacy is dispensing a medication and giving it to the name enlisted. Explaining it to them, and making sure they take it correctly. I'm just really confused because if someone was passionate about this, wouldn't they then have the drive to go for medicine instead? Where you can help these people TO THE MAXXXXXXX. I don't even want to get to the administrative side. The teaching side I can understand though. Maybe ill teach pharmacy when I build up patience and any desire to teach at all lol. But other than that, it's literally just dispensing. How can I be passionate about that. How do I treat a script like its my love child? Maybe ill go into research? But I really don't believe I can aid in any way.
I want it to bring a smile to my face, or at least bring a smile to someone else's face. Maybe ill be a pharmacist in a poverty stricken area.
I still have time :)
BUT WHY DIDN'T I DO SOMETHING FHAT SURROUNDS ME WITH BEAUTY AND JOY?!!! It doesn't even seem right anymore to take medication. Like sometimes it's like, if you were to die without these medications in you, Is that normal? Should we let life run its cycle? Are we to interfere and unnaturally alter our body's capabilities?
It's been over two hours and my brain has analysed every grain in the sea. It's now attempting to turn every rock and inspect every sea creature in my cerebral fluid. Kind of takes me back to year 12 when I took night time cold/flu tablets to fall asleep. When I'm not chatting and dramaing at 4 that is. Winkk ahh Bad memories thank god that's over :*)
But it's not even 1 so I'm not fussed. You just know though, when tonight's gonna be a tough night to fall asleep and when it'll be easy. So it's easier to just admit defeat and use the time productively rather than force sleep upon yourself. Yeh?
You know what I sometimes wonder. In this giant giant giant giant...giant giant universe, there has got to be more planets that are inhabited true? What I'm really curious about is how far they've advanced compared to us. What if they've already invented flying cars and we're slow as fuck on the whole evolution thing? What if the other extraterrestrials are really good neighbours and because theyve invented effective space travel, visit each other while we are the outliers, the 'losers'? :( what if while we're debating about Pluto, they're having amazing gravity defying space tea parties? While we're watching Harlem Shake videos.
And what if I'm lying here thinking about this and somewhere, someone is thinking the exact same thing? :D that would be pretty coolio.
I've been talking to a friend about my woes about pharmacy, and as convinced as he is about me just having a bad week, I still hold my view.
I just don't understand where I can channel passion into my career-to-be. Removing workmates and environments aside, pharmacy is dispensing a medication and giving it to the name enlisted. Explaining it to them, and making sure they take it correctly. I'm just really confused because if someone was passionate about this, wouldn't they then have the drive to go for medicine instead? Where you can help these people TO THE MAXXXXXXX. I don't even want to get to the administrative side. The teaching side I can understand though. Maybe ill teach pharmacy when I build up patience and any desire to teach at all lol. But other than that, it's literally just dispensing. How can I be passionate about that. How do I treat a script like its my love child? Maybe ill go into research? But I really don't believe I can aid in any way.
I want it to bring a smile to my face, or at least bring a smile to someone else's face. Maybe ill be a pharmacist in a poverty stricken area.
I still have time :)
BUT WHY DIDN'T I DO SOMETHING FHAT SURROUNDS ME WITH BEAUTY AND JOY?!!! It doesn't even seem right anymore to take medication. Like sometimes it's like, if you were to die without these medications in you, Is that normal? Should we let life run its cycle? Are we to interfere and unnaturally alter our body's capabilities?
Thursday, February 21, 2013
listening to mellow music and wondering what im doing with my life.
the truth is i dont think i want pharmacy anymore. i dont think i want anything in my life anymore. i no longer want to help. im just feeling so dispassionate about everything. fire me. expel me. disown me. happy uyen and current uyen are on two very different paths.
i always feel that everything i say is always too much. theres always that voice at the back of my mind going 'shut up, dont be an overkill'. there is only a certain degree with which i can be uncaring about how those i care for perceive me. sure, you can be yourself all you want. preach it. but as comfortable as that makes you, it does not necessarily make people treat you the way you want. sometimes you DO have to balance out who you are with who you need to be. it is not enough to do what makes you happy. you are, after all, not the only human being on this planet. you need to give, and please your environment. and its not even that hard, i just need to not be selfish. i want a soul mate who understands these random yearnings i have to be heard. to hear me and to know that no im not being stupid. im actually dead serious. and when i make a joke, it (for lack of preference in gender) will take it to the next level and take our conversations to places ive never been. to make a big deal out of my tears because no, you can never be too emotional and to speak their mind because no, i am not a mind reader and yes, i may jump to conclusions. and it would be my brideit at my wedding. and take precedence over my groom. and it can tell when im sad, and i can tell when it is sad. and we won't sweep it under the rug, but we wont hash out a life story from it either. itll kind of be like a nudge are you ok? and thats it.
i actually feel like being a chef. which may or may not be influenced by mkr. one of the girls on mkr cried while she was talking about dessert. she was just so in her own world, admiring food and loving that she is a professional cake maker. and it was like...i want to be like that. to envelope what i am passionate about around me. i am not passionate about food...and tbh, nothing much atm. except maybe that prada bag that i WILL own.
or maybe a fashion stylist. how fun would it be to get paid to do what pleases the eye. but im not adventurous when it comes to fashion.
id love to be an artist too. i remember my primary school teacher, ms matisi, telling me i have a skill with the paintbrush. she loved my painting. and told me off for being a shithead and ruining the painting when i attempted to add clouds to please her. she didnt call me a shithead, but she was pretty angry. she told me to paint a new one and unleash my talent. so i ended up painting a blue ocean (so a page of blue) with a small yacht. lets just say she stopped pursuing from there on.
theres actually this really beautiful painting at my house that i reckon would be worth a LOT. A. LOT. no joke. its got amazing brush work, and you can tell the artist used special paints for added shine on reflections, the sky and some rocks. its amazing. and a landscape that looks that great must be done by a deft hand. i remember learning that theyre always hardbecause the artist has to be quick to capture the sky and hues on different surfaces before the sun changes position. unless the prick took a photo. when i feel strong, ill take the painting down, remove the frame and try and find a signature. we used to have like 6 paintings, but they mysteriously disappeared.
an author would also be exquisite. but no. my brain cannot handle ramming out story after story.maybe when im older and have more feelings and experiences. ill start when i can get through a deep and meaningful book.
i think theyre pretty cool professions. the profits you reap aren't monetary, but you end up with a masterpiece. and yes, they require a lot of work, but you create beauty. you enlighten the world with beautiful creations. and you are free to do what you wish as you wish. freedom of expression, poetry in motion, all that jazz. its beauty all around you, and passion is your driver. you can nourish your soul and you can make your visions tangible! what more could you want but to leave your mark on earth via beauty. its timeless and its worth every second of your time. i want that.
but i was never good at cooking class.
i got a goddamn B for art class.
textiles i was no good in terms of design.
viscom was too into geometry ew
english...i hate structured writing
and im into my 3rd year of a medical sciences degree.
i havent made a mistake. i just havent considered a plethora of options. but im not sure im ready to live a poor and umemployed life either LOL.
the truth is i dont think i want pharmacy anymore. i dont think i want anything in my life anymore. i no longer want to help. im just feeling so dispassionate about everything. fire me. expel me. disown me. happy uyen and current uyen are on two very different paths.
i always feel that everything i say is always too much. theres always that voice at the back of my mind going 'shut up, dont be an overkill'. there is only a certain degree with which i can be uncaring about how those i care for perceive me. sure, you can be yourself all you want. preach it. but as comfortable as that makes you, it does not necessarily make people treat you the way you want. sometimes you DO have to balance out who you are with who you need to be. it is not enough to do what makes you happy. you are, after all, not the only human being on this planet. you need to give, and please your environment. and its not even that hard, i just need to not be selfish. i want a soul mate who understands these random yearnings i have to be heard. to hear me and to know that no im not being stupid. im actually dead serious. and when i make a joke, it (for lack of preference in gender) will take it to the next level and take our conversations to places ive never been. to make a big deal out of my tears because no, you can never be too emotional and to speak their mind because no, i am not a mind reader and yes, i may jump to conclusions. and it would be my brideit at my wedding. and take precedence over my groom. and it can tell when im sad, and i can tell when it is sad. and we won't sweep it under the rug, but we wont hash out a life story from it either. itll kind of be like a nudge are you ok? and thats it.
i actually feel like being a chef. which may or may not be influenced by mkr. one of the girls on mkr cried while she was talking about dessert. she was just so in her own world, admiring food and loving that she is a professional cake maker. and it was like...i want to be like that. to envelope what i am passionate about around me. i am not passionate about food...and tbh, nothing much atm. except maybe that prada bag that i WILL own.
or maybe a fashion stylist. how fun would it be to get paid to do what pleases the eye. but im not adventurous when it comes to fashion.
id love to be an artist too. i remember my primary school teacher, ms matisi, telling me i have a skill with the paintbrush. she loved my painting. and told me off for being a shithead and ruining the painting when i attempted to add clouds to please her. she didnt call me a shithead, but she was pretty angry. she told me to paint a new one and unleash my talent. so i ended up painting a blue ocean (so a page of blue) with a small yacht. lets just say she stopped pursuing from there on.
theres actually this really beautiful painting at my house that i reckon would be worth a LOT. A. LOT. no joke. its got amazing brush work, and you can tell the artist used special paints for added shine on reflections, the sky and some rocks. its amazing. and a landscape that looks that great must be done by a deft hand. i remember learning that theyre always hardbecause the artist has to be quick to capture the sky and hues on different surfaces before the sun changes position. unless the prick took a photo. when i feel strong, ill take the painting down, remove the frame and try and find a signature. we used to have like 6 paintings, but they mysteriously disappeared.
an author would also be exquisite. but no. my brain cannot handle ramming out story after story.maybe when im older and have more feelings and experiences. ill start when i can get through a deep and meaningful book.
i think theyre pretty cool professions. the profits you reap aren't monetary, but you end up with a masterpiece. and yes, they require a lot of work, but you create beauty. you enlighten the world with beautiful creations. and you are free to do what you wish as you wish. freedom of expression, poetry in motion, all that jazz. its beauty all around you, and passion is your driver. you can nourish your soul and you can make your visions tangible! what more could you want but to leave your mark on earth via beauty. its timeless and its worth every second of your time. i want that.
but i was never good at cooking class.
i got a goddamn B for art class.
textiles i was no good in terms of design.
viscom was too into geometry ew
english...i hate structured writing
and im into my 3rd year of a medical sciences degree.
i havent made a mistake. i just havent considered a plethora of options. but im not sure im ready to live a poor and umemployed life either LOL.
Monday, February 18, 2013
blog
all these disastrous bushfires have got me thinking about whether we could invent a more efficient way of putting them out. what if someone created like some massive waterproof tank that could put fires out by rolling over them? itll be so fun. farrk man, ill light my house on fire just to use one. that was probably an insensitive joke given whats been going on recently.
but that aside, i finished reading indigo spell today. it took a while because the first 100 pages had me snoring. i did not understand where the Sydney-Adrian dynamic was going, and i did not expect it to take up so much of the story. but i knuckled down today, and my god, if you could see my tears right now. i feel so privileged to be able to read a book that has what my eyes perceive to be perfectness. i have found perfectness in this little world. i'm still warming up to sydney though, is it so bad that im in love with rose? i swooned pretty hard at the 1 line she got in the book.
that is all im going to say. ive given up on the whole review thing, id much rather just rave and rant about the ones that i love and bitch about the ones i dont. who needs sensible commentary? not i.
ive got my phone plugged into my music player or whatever and it has been pissing me off the entire day. everytime a text goes through, a massive AJGRLKAJGLJAGLKRJGALREJG ELALRGE static kills my eardrums and its been irritating me soooo bad. its doing it right now. taylor swift got nothing on farting speakers. i miss earphones.
in other drabby, this-is-my-life news, a massive parasite has once again succeeded in talking shit and leaving me with damage control. so seriously annoyed. can you imagine how shocking it is when people you hardly know start talking about your 'ex' as if they know your life. like seriously, the only ex you will be seeing is when i ex-terminate the bullshit out of him. it is the biggest insult when someone so sub-par gets labelled as your former flame. there is such a thing called standard. are you saying i hvae no standards? or worse, are you saying i am of equivalent standard? i would rather live with a million cats. and im a dog person so thats saying something. you low life piece of shit.
mkr is on in 5 minutes. just to bring it to 7:30, here's some drugs. lets hope i can recall what i learnt yesterday
OTC: migraines
anagraine which is a combination of metocloperamide or however you spell it and paracetamol. metocloperamide is just there to increase stomach motility to move the drug to the intestines for paracetamol absorption. you do have to be careful though becuase metocloperamide is used for parkinsons because it alters dopamine levels. so it may affect your brain dopamine levels..ive forgotten how you can tell if you're experiencing side effects, ill come back to edit. and i think you hvae to be careful if youve got high blood pressure too.
difference between tension headache and migraine. migraine is on the side of your head and onset is strong, it would be hard to function with one. tension headache is bilateral on the other hand, and may start off weak and work its way to be stronger.
but that aside, i finished reading indigo spell today. it took a while because the first 100 pages had me snoring. i did not understand where the Sydney-Adrian dynamic was going, and i did not expect it to take up so much of the story. but i knuckled down today, and my god, if you could see my tears right now. i feel so privileged to be able to read a book that has what my eyes perceive to be perfectness. i have found perfectness in this little world. i'm still warming up to sydney though, is it so bad that im in love with rose? i swooned pretty hard at the 1 line she got in the book.
that is all im going to say. ive given up on the whole review thing, id much rather just rave and rant about the ones that i love and bitch about the ones i dont. who needs sensible commentary? not i.
ive got my phone plugged into my music player or whatever and it has been pissing me off the entire day. everytime a text goes through, a massive AJGRLKAJGLJAGLKRJGALREJG ELALRGE static kills my eardrums and its been irritating me soooo bad. its doing it right now. taylor swift got nothing on farting speakers. i miss earphones.
in other drabby, this-is-my-life news, a massive parasite has once again succeeded in talking shit and leaving me with damage control. so seriously annoyed. can you imagine how shocking it is when people you hardly know start talking about your 'ex' as if they know your life. like seriously, the only ex you will be seeing is when i ex-terminate the bullshit out of him. it is the biggest insult when someone so sub-par gets labelled as your former flame. there is such a thing called standard. are you saying i hvae no standards? or worse, are you saying i am of equivalent standard? i would rather live with a million cats. and im a dog person so thats saying something. you low life piece of shit.
mkr is on in 5 minutes. just to bring it to 7:30, here's some drugs. lets hope i can recall what i learnt yesterday
OTC: migraines
anagraine which is a combination of metocloperamide or however you spell it and paracetamol. metocloperamide is just there to increase stomach motility to move the drug to the intestines for paracetamol absorption. you do have to be careful though becuase metocloperamide is used for parkinsons because it alters dopamine levels. so it may affect your brain dopamine levels..ive forgotten how you can tell if you're experiencing side effects, ill come back to edit. and i think you hvae to be careful if youve got high blood pressure too.
difference between tension headache and migraine. migraine is on the side of your head and onset is strong, it would be hard to function with one. tension headache is bilateral on the other hand, and may start off weak and work its way to be stronger.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Macrodantin, Alprim
Macrodantin. Nirtofurantoin. 'Other Antibacterials'
Indication:
UTI and prophylactic treatment too
MOA:
Antibiotic that inhibits protein, DNA, RNA and cell wall synthesis in bacteria
Dosing:
Treatment of UTI: 50-100 mg qid for 3 days in women and 14 days in men (longer urethra)
Prophylaxis: 50-100mg n
Take it with food or milk to help improve nausea and decrease side effects of nausea.
It is normal for your urine to turn a dark brown colour during the course. Your contact lenses may also stain.
Adverse effects:
Nausea and vomitting
Dizziness
Peripheral polyneuropathy (tell your doctor if you get numb or tingling sensations. Monitor renal function during long term treatment b/c poor renal function increases chances of peripheral polyneuropathy)
Acute and chronic pneumonia (monitor in long term treatment). Acute pneumonitis may occur 1-2 weeks after initial course and chronic occurs usually after 6 months.
Monitor:
Pulmonary function
Renal Function
Liver function for hepatitis
Alprim. Trimethoprim. 'Other Antibacterials'
Indication:
Empirical treatment of UTI
Epididymo-orchitis (from UTI)
Prostatitis
MOA:
inhibits bacterial folate production
Dosage:
UTI: 300mg n for 3 days in women, 14 in men
Recurrent UTI: 300mg n for 10-14 days
Prophylactic (UTI): 150mg n
Give at night to achieve high concentration in drug in urine
Single dose for UTI in women is possible, but usually over 3 days is better in preventing recurring infections.
Be careful if taking drugs that result in potassium retention. Increased risk of hyperkalaemia b/c trimethoprim causes K retention too. Usually in higher doses and renal impairment after 4-5 days.
Be careful in folate deficiencies because this drug can worsen it. (MOA)
Monitor:
Blood and folate (in long term/high dose use)
Potassium if renally impaired or taking potassium retaining drugs
Indication:
UTI and prophylactic treatment too
MOA:
Antibiotic that inhibits protein, DNA, RNA and cell wall synthesis in bacteria
Dosing:
Treatment of UTI: 50-100 mg qid for 3 days in women and 14 days in men (longer urethra)
Prophylaxis: 50-100mg n
Take it with food or milk to help improve nausea and decrease side effects of nausea.
It is normal for your urine to turn a dark brown colour during the course. Your contact lenses may also stain.
Adverse effects:
Nausea and vomitting
Dizziness
Peripheral polyneuropathy (tell your doctor if you get numb or tingling sensations. Monitor renal function during long term treatment b/c poor renal function increases chances of peripheral polyneuropathy)
Acute and chronic pneumonia (monitor in long term treatment). Acute pneumonitis may occur 1-2 weeks after initial course and chronic occurs usually after 6 months.
Monitor:
Pulmonary function
Renal Function
Liver function for hepatitis
Alprim. Trimethoprim. 'Other Antibacterials'
Indication:
Empirical treatment of UTI
Epididymo-orchitis (from UTI)
Prostatitis
MOA:
inhibits bacterial folate production
Dosage:
UTI: 300mg n for 3 days in women, 14 in men
Recurrent UTI: 300mg n for 10-14 days
Prophylactic (UTI): 150mg n
Give at night to achieve high concentration in drug in urine
Single dose for UTI in women is possible, but usually over 3 days is better in preventing recurring infections.
Be careful if taking drugs that result in potassium retention. Increased risk of hyperkalaemia b/c trimethoprim causes K retention too. Usually in higher doses and renal impairment after 4-5 days.
Be careful in folate deficiencies because this drug can worsen it. (MOA)
Monitor:
Blood and folate (in long term/high dose use)
Potassium if renally impaired or taking potassium retaining drugs
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
sukina ongaku
i miss music like this. where there's sincerity. and its not about the tune or the lyrics, but the emotions behind the voice. here are some songs i hold dear.
and the most darling song that's ever reached my ears:
im suprised its all japanese.
jyaneee
(ps i blogged yest. about the footscray festival. i was mistaken, i meant springvale. and it was shit.)
and the most darling song that's ever reached my ears:
im suprised its all japanese.
jyaneee
(ps i blogged yest. about the footscray festival. i was mistaken, i meant springvale. and it was shit.)
Saturday, February 2, 2013
a really not deep, not soul searching, not spiritual reflection
whats up ma homie? boom shakalaka
im kind of sad cause tonight kind of fell through so im stuck home with candy saga and shit music :(
and thinking about myself. in my room. with my hair over my face, sitting on a broom. inside a closet with one glow worm. on top of a majestic mountain. Narnia is my minion. ill stop before i get carried away. (by a magic carpet. across Utopia. come flyyyyy with me~)
but i was really thinking about myself. (as i always do lol jks) its always bad to think about your flaws. because you cant really change the fact that you're imperfect. so you get your knickers in a knot because you cant change who you are and you cant ignore your flaws once you pick it out of your bundle of adjectives. the last time i did in 20111 (lol as if this is some systematic process), I winded up really hating myself. which brings me to a tangent. that time, a friend somehow picked up on it and was soooooo supportive and sweet that i grew to love myself too much LOL. but then i winded up hating myself again because i found out later on that he was going through a shitstorm while i was just woeing about how i have flaws. its gonna be one of those things i will remember till i die.
but ive done another stocktake. must be a jolly darn good stocktake becuase i cant remember shit.
the main thing i picked out though was that i need to really listen when people talk!! i always (well not always) do this thing where if someone's saying something i have no passionate interest in, i just zone out and just ask the simple 'what, where, who, why' questions. theyre so general and so they can be applied to almost any situation lol. most of the time im not caught, but mann at work..ive tuned out so much that my collegue calls me blondie. im not dumb, im just disinterested. i guess listening starts with respect. its not that im disrespectful to others or anything, id just rather talk with people of the same interests or argue with the people of polar opposites. the in-betweens all get really hazy and become one verbal mass of...
like there were these two people talking about port melbourne beach, surfing and different hiking areas etc. and they were FULL going at it. well one was, the other was asking polite questions like 'oh sounds fun, maybe ill try it one day...' its like OMGGG *rips hair out* dont encourage him.
LOL its kind of funny though. esp when you ask the same shit the following week. i find it most effective to just deny ever asking that question until they give up on you and rehash.
or when you have no recollection when they go 'remember what i was saying about xxxxx?'. like shit shit shit 'LMFAOO YES HAHHAHA, what happened again?'
im suprisingly keen to hear everything from customers at work though. and i remember it and can continue the conversation the following week. maybe because when ive got the uniform on, im not Uyen Hua ceeeeeeeeebs, i'm Uyen Hua at your service.
but thats all im gonna say. never reflect too much! which is funny cause just the other week i was bagging the hsit out of philosophy and self help books. LOL i opened miranda kerr's Treasure Yourself book and my god, sorry but its so pathetic lol. i cant remember the exact words but she was all 'you can fix your outside all you want, but its not going to hcange the person you are inside'. Thank you gorgeous model who doesn't need to worry about her looks. Perhaps go back to the catwalk while i find 100 other books that say the same shit. she also had like a chapter on how to not be jealous. do i even need to get into that? let me search deep into my heart, and discover that oh my! i am a special, unique, treasured human being. :') oh you make me cry. lol okay i dont know wtf im saying anymore.
you can shut me up anytime you want blog. muahahha you cant.
im going to a cemetery tomorrow! im going to light up those incense and shove one on each grave :') plz dont haunt me.
footscray fest should be on too right? see ya there me hearties!
im kind of sad cause tonight kind of fell through so im stuck home with candy saga and shit music :(
and thinking about myself. in my room. with my hair over my face, sitting on a broom. inside a closet with one glow worm. on top of a majestic mountain. Narnia is my minion. ill stop before i get carried away. (by a magic carpet. across Utopia. come flyyyyy with me~)
but i was really thinking about myself. (as i always do lol jks) its always bad to think about your flaws. because you cant really change the fact that you're imperfect. so you get your knickers in a knot because you cant change who you are and you cant ignore your flaws once you pick it out of your bundle of adjectives. the last time i did in 20111 (lol as if this is some systematic process), I winded up really hating myself. which brings me to a tangent. that time, a friend somehow picked up on it and was soooooo supportive and sweet that i grew to love myself too much LOL. but then i winded up hating myself again because i found out later on that he was going through a shitstorm while i was just woeing about how i have flaws. its gonna be one of those things i will remember till i die.
but ive done another stocktake. must be a jolly darn good stocktake becuase i cant remember shit.
the main thing i picked out though was that i need to really listen when people talk!! i always (well not always) do this thing where if someone's saying something i have no passionate interest in, i just zone out and just ask the simple 'what, where, who, why' questions. theyre so general and so they can be applied to almost any situation lol. most of the time im not caught, but mann at work..ive tuned out so much that my collegue calls me blondie. im not dumb, im just disinterested. i guess listening starts with respect. its not that im disrespectful to others or anything, id just rather talk with people of the same interests or argue with the people of polar opposites. the in-betweens all get really hazy and become one verbal mass of...
like there were these two people talking about port melbourne beach, surfing and different hiking areas etc. and they were FULL going at it. well one was, the other was asking polite questions like 'oh sounds fun, maybe ill try it one day...' its like OMGGG *rips hair out* dont encourage him.
LOL its kind of funny though. esp when you ask the same shit the following week. i find it most effective to just deny ever asking that question until they give up on you and rehash.
or when you have no recollection when they go 'remember what i was saying about xxxxx?'. like shit shit shit 'LMFAOO YES HAHHAHA, what happened again?'
im suprisingly keen to hear everything from customers at work though. and i remember it and can continue the conversation the following week. maybe because when ive got the uniform on, im not Uyen Hua ceeeeeeeeebs, i'm Uyen Hua at your service.
but thats all im gonna say. never reflect too much! which is funny cause just the other week i was bagging the hsit out of philosophy and self help books. LOL i opened miranda kerr's Treasure Yourself book and my god, sorry but its so pathetic lol. i cant remember the exact words but she was all 'you can fix your outside all you want, but its not going to hcange the person you are inside'. Thank you gorgeous model who doesn't need to worry about her looks. Perhaps go back to the catwalk while i find 100 other books that say the same shit. she also had like a chapter on how to not be jealous. do i even need to get into that? let me search deep into my heart, and discover that oh my! i am a special, unique, treasured human being. :') oh you make me cry. lol okay i dont know wtf im saying anymore.
you can shut me up anytime you want blog. muahahha you cant.
im going to a cemetery tomorrow! im going to light up those incense and shove one on each grave :') plz dont haunt me.
footscray fest should be on too right? see ya there me hearties!
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