Turbulance!

I just jolted awake from a creepy dream I cant even tell if I was asleep and my eyeballs hurt lol.

Today or yesterday rather I jokingly told someone to make sure my hair was dyed purple if I died before I could get it done myself.
In my weird dream slash vision I was dead and I guess I had an omnipresent ciew of my funerak. We were in a church and I was in a coffin kind of dead with purple hair. I wqs really haopy to see that and my burst of emotion put me back inside my own body which had somehow fastforwarded to the lowering of the coffin into my cubicle lol. The lid was closed and I was sad csuse I couldnt move my hands to hold up my purple hair to my face to see it. I thought a seizure was coming but alas no. I couldnt move my limbs at all cause I was dead but my brain was still alive and it was begging not to get buried otherwise ill suffocate and dieeeee so I tried rocking my body from side to side to rock the coffin anf signal my existence lol it was so weird I felt like I was in a straight jacket or something. And then it cut to me outside my body...and I could see the coffin slightly shakibg but the silly priest just said "buckle up everyonem it appears we have turbulance." And then I woke up.

Sorry for the lack of commas ceeeebs going back to sleep kan. Wil read this in the morning. Thought id type it up while I still rememebedd it so well. Gooodnight

bitching about myself

'Hurt comes quickly. And is irreparable.' I wrote that in my Taco 03/01/2012 and thinking back to that time, I cant remember being hurt at all so obviously it goes as quickly as if comes and is verrry repairable. I spent today reading my past diaries, as I sometimes do, because listening to my drabble requires a few sittings.
im very suprised by how much i appreciate reading about the dreams i manage to jot down. i can kind of remember them and recall how i felt in those dreams, like my brain's own little life and ive taken a picture.

what i also notice is that reading back on some of the things that took centre stage in my life at the time hardly even brings back much memories today. so i guess it would not be foolish of me to seize the day because i wont remember it tomorrow anyway. carpe diem the shit out of everything. but im a coward so id rather not confront my inner emotions.

i was also so much less cynical. i read back on some things and now i just think 'wow bitch.' but back then, apparently i felt id just 'caught her on a bad day' or 'somethings really bothering her :('. now its just lets not waste each other's time. if i live to be 50 ill probably be one of those people waving their canes at generation B or whatever.
i also cannot believe i spent 2 pages talking about boysenberry pancakes. and i used to bring tissue boxes into cinemas in case i cried. sooo dramatic wth just get a tissue pack.

im also glad i jotted down the moments that made me laugh.

i also wrote down about my 19th birthday. i hardly remembered that day casue i had a massive D+ but reading about it has me laughing my nuts off. i went shopping that day to try and find something to wear for the dinner that night and everything i wore just felt so wrong until i broke down crying in the dressing room at forever new. it was horrible that day but omg who the hell does that? i spent like ages in the room waiting for my eyes to stop being red. the shop girls mustve thought i was racking something. I concluded the post with 'looking for something I cannot find. Oh what a horrible day.'

LOOL i just read another post. apparently i had a dream where i tried to suicide with 8 aspirin tablets but then at the last second, my friend stopped me and said his brother needed to take half a tablet for his pain. so i folded a clown out of crepe paper (is that possible) and said 'here give that to your brother!' and then i tried to suicide with another drug but then i woke up.

and apparently i was crying at uni and a random guy sat me down and helped me staple my homework. wth why dont i remember this?!

i swear my diary is a bigger joke than the government.

i am seriously annoyed at how temperamental my phone's service has been. why pay 70 bucks for credit i cant even access anyway? urgh!!! would you pay for a jacket if its sleeves sometimes randomly fall off? i could be out stranded in the desert and have more luck sending out a signal with a rock. so upset!! like can something positive happen in my life please!!
anyway ive bought this bookt hat is supposed to change my life for the better. 'Full of life and energy.' 'Could a story save your life?' it slathers on its cover. its probably some sick joke to make the reader cry into a pit of despair. i kid you not. the pages are BLACK and it looks like those kind of books where people just DIE. its called Our Tragic Universe (if you can manage to find the title in the mess of a cover) and i was under the illusion that its a delightful story. now it just looks emo and theres a black wolf with yellow beady eyes on the cover thats creeping hte crap out of me.

my text still hasnt sent by the way. its become a battle between me and optus to get that one message through. i feel like ic ant give up otherwise its shitty optus' victory. YOU CANT TAKE WHAT IS MIIIINEEE *warcry i wish i was someone really rich and important and famous so that i can bash the shit out of it and have my words be heard. i would change service but i dont think there's a better one...which is actually really sad.
my phone's been a bit fucked too. i got really pissed off the other day so i beat it around a bit (my iphone never complained) and now sometimes its sensitivity gets so messed up and the home screens just spin all over the place until i restart it. its actually the worst urgh.

to add to that, my nectarine has gone really soft. CAN THE WORLD GIVE ME A NORMAL NECTARINE? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?  I JUST WANT TO ENJOY THE FRUIT OF NATURE :(

The note2

Hi blog.
What I love about the note is how easy it is to draw. While an a3 paper would have taken me 3 hours to draw a tree, this only took 10(minutes). Everything is so downsized yet so BIG at the same time. Ill say it one more time...ITS ADORABLE. I also tried drawing katniss everdeen but it turned out to be more katshit than anything.
What I hate though is how theres no autocorrect so while im not making awkward word changes, all my texts dont nake any sense. (The amount of backspacing im having to do right now is atrocious)
I also hate how weak the battery is. Im charging my phone Every Night after very moderate use. Which is a shame because I keep thinking about all the radiation thats pouring out at lightning speed. Which probably isnt how it works. Feel free to tell me im not sucking up samsung poison.

Regardless, I am quite enamoured. Best phone ive ever had. (As you can probably tell cause ive goddamn blogged about it)

Nail Polish

I find the fastest remedy for sadness is to paint your nails. Cause it's slathering something over yourself and so you're kind of a whole new person...very very kind of. Like a before and after.
And they look pretty!
I've painted one hand English Rose which is a really nice antique pink. And because I don't remember the last time I attempted to, I've painted my other hand too with Cafè Olè.
I'm using the Essence brand which is a really cheap brand BUT beautiful, petite bottle. It's actually pretty nice. I love the brush cause its shorter and wider so you get nice coverage and it's easier to control. It also dries sooo quickly. Took like two minutes. I hope it doesn't upset me by chipping at the slightest aggravation though.

purple

reminiscing about the times when i tried to catch the falling leaves with my friends. and then we threw her shoe up the tree. 

i miss happiness born from such a simple moment. 

now i just expect and want so f*ucking much. its worse cause its not expectations within myself, but my environment. which is hardly controllable unless i go hulk manipulation and sulk. 

i just feel like going into a garden (backyard) and planting a tree. an apple tree. cusae then i can eat apples. we actually had an apple tree. but then my dad cut it down cause it was so ugly. and cast it aside to rot with its fellow leafmates. i could also do with a berry tree. because come on, berries! best flavour ever. i reckon anything thats edible and purple should be tried and tested. food+drink that colour always tastes good. apart from ribena, but ive yet to try it diluted. some examples include:

the purple Sugar (brand) lollies

Mother in Frosty Berry

the purple ones in lifesavers 

the purple ones in mentos

purple jols

purple warheads

purple jelly

taro cake

the grape flavoured starburst jellybeans!

the berry flavoured skittles

my friend is convinced im obsessed with eating the colour purple. but i think i just really like the berry flavour. i bet those all contain the same ingredients but whurrrtevarrrr. i will marry it to my mouth like no tomorrow.

it probably has some placebo effect on my brain, but they all taste absolutely divine! god forbid a purple alcoholic berverage makes its way into my life. 

i hvae eyed the purple MSContin tablet though. jks! im not suicidal. but hands down the most rewarding tablet to look at. 

i WOULD eat grey food, but i dont think that would be a wise choice.

i love her hair colour