Too many feelings

Ive been feeling shit yo.
Ever since holidays have started i feel like I have np time for myself. Theres always somethibg to be done or somewhere I need to be and its really taking a toll on my mental health. That and my ability to make all the wrong decisions.
Everything just seems so dumb atm. Peoole just seem so dumb. Not in respective of me ill add. I dont know what it is but its making me feel like an entire day sleeping will prove its worthwhile a lot more than going out. It just feels like theres some barrier between my brain and everyone elses brain. I feel like half my brain is asleep. holy shit im becoming a zombie arent I?
Ive also lost my nirvana in reading. That immersion aint there anymore. I cant enjoy a book, it just makes me want to sleep. Thats pretty sad. I just want to cry. I dont have a new hobby. books and I are taking an indefinite break for now.
I just havent been feeling myself. Ill be ok and then one day, like today, ill wake up and feel like a miserable cunt hole. Every small issue blows up in my mind and angers me to the point of fat angry tears and I feel like im suffering. Not physically, but I just feel like im suffering. Im probably just suffering from lack of exercise come to think of it. I just need to take a steo away from myself. When I get into these moods, work really helps me. It makes me feel helpful, like positivity is soreading ariund me outwards through the actions that I do. And it puts things into perspective and makes me feel pathetic for being such a downer.
I really value people who can make me and people in general laugh. Its the ultimate cure for a bad day so its a blessing to have them as your close friends. They always accidently make my day which is all I can ever ask for. I dont need love or relatiobships I just need happy.
Speaking of which ive recently realised that I dont actually value relationships as much as I thought I did. No. at this stage in my life, all I want is to gain a rewarding career. I want to graduate with respectabke marks and to feel great working. I dont even need success, just need job satisfaction. I really dont feel the need for a guy in my life. They just complicate things and expect too much. Im quite content to be a lone pot plant cause I dont feel lonely at all. nothing will change that. My desires may change in the future (dear god im hoping it will) but right now I want a career that will sustain me and make me happy. Why else go through 17 years of education right? And I want to be able to afford my own prada.
I feel much lighter now. Writing is like therapy. Ciao bloggetti blog.