dear diary

dear diary,
yo. its been a while.
you know what I was thinking about today? (wow did blogger always have autocorrect?)
I thought about a lot of things. working with chemo patients has you thinking about a lot of things.
I was thinking about death. and how it becomes us all. 1 abnormal cell, 1 unlawful car, 1 weapon, 1 person and BAM you could be gone.

anyone could be gone. and that's scary. and to think of all the people in this world that have died and we have not had a chance to know of their existence. that is sad. all the amazing people, that I have not met, and all the amazing people that I will not meet that will die before I get the chance to meet htem. yes that is sad. depressingly so.
I want to meet amazing people. and you know what ive realised. im a corny bastard for saying this but everyone is amazing in a different aspect. you just need to find it in that person. some might not be for you, some aint your kind of crowd, but the ones that are - fucking embrace them. because feeling happy is one of the best emotions in the world. and everyone should feel it before they die. all around you is so much to be amazed about, but we become so absorbed with ourselves that we forget about the mundane pleasantries of life. the fact that we are life. there is life. and its fucking amazing. who needs sleep when you can add an extra 5 hours to your day discovering new corners of the earth. (or the internet) cause any moment now we could be gone. or someone around you could be gone. and when they are gone, you want to have at least one precious memory of them to hold onto. how terrible would it be if someone you knew died, and you fucking hated them and you made it so verbally known.
youd rather look back and have a happy moment with them. and to keep that memory alive. and be so so grateful. because not everyone gets to see the same side of everyone. I talk to a stranger on the street lets say, and I only see their surface. but there are privilidged people out there who get to see them for who they are and see what makes them amazing. whereas I miss out. its like this for everyone you meet. we don't get the chance to speed friend everyone so those you do get to friend, friend well.

and yeah. im just procrastinating. I suck at oral presentations. carry on planet earth. im going to rest now.