two faces, three faces, four

i was trying to start my study but after i read the first page my mind started wandering.
what am i doing in pharmacy? what are you doing in science? what are you doing in marketing? what are you doing in arts? what are you doing in law?
is it becuase you want to? how do you know this is what you want to do?
i dont know how to put it into words, but imagine if your life was in the hands of fate. and fate had you set on a path that is perfect for you. would you be where you are rightnow?
what if youre up for a mediocre career in psychology when you would have been a stellar fashion designer? what if you settle for love in melbourne when you would have found your soul mate in montreal?
and theres no way for you to know. every aspect of your life is a what if. every ticking second is an opportunity gone by. and its an opportunity we dont even know of becuase we dont undersatnd what we're waiting for.

but sidetrack aside, i need a new book to read. a new world to delve into becuase i cbf with my own.

speaking of myself, i was reading my 2011 journal before. it was strange. i just deleted two paragraphs. hahahaa dont want to post that shit. goes back to the factthat my blog is public.
i will put it out there though that i really dont appreciate two faced people. i really dont. if you hate someone, go ahead let them know honey. sure eveyrones going through issues and we should all be nice to each other etc. blahdiblah, but people can handle a little hate, it smuch better then handling someone who cant even be honest in their expressions. its sickening. im aware that im stating the obvious with the whole two face thing but i seriously just want to ALKEJRGLKAESRE. not targetted at anyone btw. it really does just make me angry. and it ties in with my 2011 journal cuase i was two faced. not as a person in general, but with some people. or person. or..yeah. LOL. and i was reading it and it just revolted me. i ahte that in a pseron. i just never realised before.
like i dunno, its that moment when you realise the obvious.
im glad that all the people i hate (thejre arent many) know that i hate them. so theyre out of my fucking face. and now im pissed cuase im thinking about them! gonna eat
goooooooooodnight :) i hope you all had a nice day today