i cannot focus atm.

too much shit to learn. i wave my white flag, pharmacology cannot be crammed. we'll see how i fare tmr. i want nothing more right now than to eat or sleep or watch yt or read or just chill. i think one usually calls this a "break". i want a break. i want a break up. no one to dump goddammit. (when the test is over tmr though, none of this crimetalk remains valid)
i really want to just lay in bed and read. sigh. i dont usually struggle so fucking much with cramming, but nerves, for some odd reason, ALWAYS screw me over. from the first time i learnt baout them till now, eveyrthing is just so new. you could tell me the same information every year and although itll sound the same to my ears, itll be a whole different story in my head.
so, somatic nervous system issss i cant even remmeber that. voluntary control? the other branch escapes me. peripheral? yeah, im screwed for tmr. and like, its not even worth that much marks i dont think. i just dont want to fail. i dont want to do badly. even if im bad at it, i dont want to do badly. lol. i just dont want to do badly. i dont expect perfection, but i always expect something.. not bad. pharmacology ended up being my lowest scoring subject last semester (seven two parrrcentto). this semester, i will sit here, do nothing, then try for something a little higher. i say 'little higher' cause imbeing conservative (accounting life lesson), and cause i know im setting an unattainable goal. someone make leisure time less enjoyable so that i can find some solace in studying pleaaase. even now when i should be studying, im blogging about studying. i only have another 8 lecture slides to go, BUT I CANT GO ONNNN, my brain is crawling all over trying to find some strength atm. but alas, i am defeated. i feel like i should crack an ironic 'nerve' joke somewhere, but i cant even muster any strength for that. i can only talk. via my fingers. LOL what does that even mean. it means typing.

i want to add a picture here to finish off. something extravagant and day-making. but my brain is telling me to not be so ambitious.
BOOM SHAKALAKA