The Fault in our Stars - John Green

spoilers. lots of it. all of it. so dont read. i just want to blog.

my good friend Kath lent me her book this Friday. I'd given John Green a go before - Looking for Alaska. it was boring. The guy spent most of the book (by most i mean the entire book spare the first few pages where he doesnt know her) obsessing with the girl. So i was quite skeptical about this one. Until i read it. I fell in love from the very first paragraph. how often does that happen? but i fell head first in love with the book. its beautifully written. i havent read a beautifully written book in a while LMAO.
and like, you could tell it wasnt a book to make you smile. like, from the start, there was this sense of impending doom and unforgettable, torturous memories. my heart was broken. like, it was a given the protagonist was going to die, but to kill off the hero before so? what hope left is there

The loss of Augustus was a great loss. it was os heartbreaking, becuase he was so lively. he was EVERYWHERE. her world was bleak, until he came along. and from there, he basically wrote out her happiness for her, his phone calls, his plans, his Wish, his love, his cured cancer. he set down everything for her and you see this girl liven up and become stronger. you see a streak of happiness midst her doomed for life, and then he dies. and oh god, he does not just die either, he loses himself before he dies. he becomes useless, lifeless, he vomits. vomitting always does it for me. i hate the notion of vomitting. its disgusting. he puked all over himself. that was so devestating. his path to death was so scary and sudden. the descriptions of his demise was so horrific and subtle in a graphic kind of way.

this isnt a book i want to forget, but im never reading a john green book ever again! its so depressing! like, this goes down as one of the greater novels i've read, and im glad to have read it, BUT ITS SO TRAGIC. i cannot read it a second time. i want to but i wont. its so sad.

i want to jot down some moments that really hung on to me. cause im never touching this book again but i dont want to let it go. theyre not particularly gripping scenes, but it just really stood outfor me. am i allowed to quote?

"Some infinities are larger than other infinities" math applied to life :O from 1 to 2 = an infinite of numbers. eg. 1.1, 1.1111, 1.11111111, 1.12222 etc. and then we have the concept infinity. an infinity inside an infinity. so you have a time in which you know someone. me and you lets say, we know each other 1 year. so from 0 to 1 year = infinite time. which is our little infinity inside an infinity.

"I sat down on the bed expecting him to join me, but he hunkered down in the dusty paisley chair. That chair." - that chair made me cry. dont know why. that rhyyyyyy(mes)

"I lit up like a Christmas tree, Hazel Grace. The lining of my chest, my left hip, my liver, everywhere." i dunno, the imagery.

'He puked, without even the energy to turn his mouth away from his lap'    he vomitted. the entire scene was tragic. its weird, reading knowing that he and she will die, but reading on anyway.

The fact that he wrote a eulogy for her before he died.


And yeah. Its so tragic, and the end of the novel doesnt even provide any comfort or hope for us either, just with the resounding message of death. you canbe a great person, and then you can die. and when you die, some people will remember you, but they will die too.